Of Moments and Missed Things
by Cranberry Octopus
Summary: The sixteen-year-old immediately glowered at the idiot for being so dense. "Because," she flailed, "He'll rape me! Look! He even has the whistle and everything so I can't even alert you guys when it's happening!" Various Pairings. Team Seven. Drabbles.


Hey guys!  
It's been a while.  
But if you went to my profile and saw that there was a cute little link,  
You would know what I was doing.

So, check it. Read MOAR STORIES! 8D

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Title: Proper Usage  
Pairing: KakaSaku (because it's funny)  
Prompt: The Quickiness  
Note: Just pretend that Sasuke isn't a crazy bastard and act like everything is spiffy and all rainbows and sunshine for the rest of our lives because it will totally happen, I SWEAR.  
Words: 525

"This," Kakashi beams, "Is a rape whistle."

The minute Sakura heard that, she shoved herself from her spot and began to run away from the crazy man with a rape-whistle. "_O-kay_, I'm gonna go-"

"No," he began, "You of all people should stay. In fact, Naruto and Sasuke, you are dismissed."

The pinkette's eyes widened at the thought of being alone with her creepy teacher. "No wait!" she said suddenly, latching onto Naruto's arm and looking everywhere like a mad-woman. "They should know about rape, too!"

Both boys blanched at their female teammate before taking a few steps away from her and planning possible escape routes that would work without Sakura knowing. The blonde carefully detached Sakura's iron grip from his forearm, shoved Sasuke in the opposite direction of wherever they were going so they could get the hell away from them and decided to make an appointment for Sakura when this whole 'rape-whistle' thing was done and over with.

Of the pair, Sasuke was the first to speak. "Uh... _why_?" he asked (demanded).

The sixteen-year-old immediately glowered at the idiot for being so dense. "Because," she flailed, "He'll rape me! Look! He even has the whistle and everything so I can't even alert you guys _when it's happening_!" she then gasped, as if coming to a revelation. "That's all a part of his sick plan to get me to marry him!" she fake-gasped again. "You _bastard_!"

Kakashi sighed dejectedly. Why? Here's a quick look into his mind: Why did everyone automatically assume that he was a pedophile? He doesn't even like kids! Why would he even want to - oh, Sakura, don't bend over like that someone can - stop it, stop it! Slap yourself, old man, she's nearly sixteen (and magically delicious!). Oh, stop it, that was just corny and - and, well, actually it perfectly describes - AHA! The inner-pervert revealed! Now it's time to -

"Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura asked, _like she was innocent _(because she was doing such dirty things in his mind - cut it out!).

"Uh..."

"Are you alright?"

Sasuke and Naruto exchanged glances before glaring back at their sensei. Oh, come _on_! They didn't honestly believe her, did they? (Although they wouldn't be wrong but considering the fact that he didn't want chidori on his ass cheeks today, he was going to opt to be aloof and pretend he was senile and old.) The copy-nin looked back at his students. They did!

"Boys, I am not going to rape Sakura."

"You say that now, old man!" Naruto accused, "But then you'll start to wonder and you'll be trapped in her cute little-"

"I'm _right here_." she growled.

"-claws-"

"OI. I AM RIGHT HERE."

"-and then she'll-"

"Naruto," Kakashi cut in, "I think that's even verbal imagery to convince me to never engage in a relationship with Sakura-chan."

Naruto raised an eyebrow. "Sakura-chan?" the kyuubi container asked.

"Uh..."

"RAPE!" Naruto screeched and then lunged for the whistle hanging around Kakashi's neck before blowing it fiercely. "PEDOPHILE! SNAKE-MAN! CRAZY!"

Sasuke looked at Sakura, Sakura looked at Sasuke and an unspoken agreement went between them that they should go sparring, like now .

.

Title: This is why you're hot  
Words: 841  
Disclaimer: Derr...  
Note: Please don't take this seriously.  
Pairing: KakaSaku

Ah... Agh... Aaahh...

To her, even though they were only in her head at the time, they sounded like her throat was having an orgasm. Or, rather, perhaps _she_ was having an orgasm. Okay, she totally wasn't but if she thought his voice was sexy, well, the whole package was about forty times better. She cast another look in his direction and sighed; oh, yeah, so _hot_. And even though he had already slipped up the mask, Sakura was still smitten with the image engraved in her mind.

"Sakura-chan?" Naruto prodded, slightly worried that Sakura had gone to the dark side aka fallen-in-love-with-he-who-is-Uchiha/has-Uchiha-qualities. "Are you alright?" his raspy voice asked.

"Nrghshin." was her eloquent reply. She just couldn't stop looking; it was like eye sex! Now if only she could get rid of that stupid mask...

"OI, SAKURA-CHAN, STOP MAKING EYE BABIES WITH KAKASHI-SENSEI."

The med-nin blinked at that. They were making eye babies. That sounded weird; in fact, it almost sounded wrong. But it couldn't be, having eye-sex with Kakashi-sensei wasn't wrong. It was like they were actually - oh my gosh is he looking this way? They _were_having eye-sex! - Inner-Sakura quickly swooned at the sight of his grinning face. - And he was enjoying it! _That_snapped her out of her hot-sensei induced daze. _Holy crap_she was making eye babies with Kakashi-sensei! Ew, ew, ew, ew!

"Eye sex?" he asked wearily.

"EW!" She screeched, "I can't believe I thought of you that way!"

"Thought of me in _what_way?" the copy-nin asked just a little too cheerfully.

And Sakura suddenly became aware of just how close he was. Okay, so, he wasn't that close but to her, he was inches - _**inches**_! - away from her. "GET AWAY FROM ME!" She snapped. "I don't like you - you - you pervert!"

"O-_kay_..." he said, seemingly unaffected but on the inside he was slightly crushed. Poor ego, it'll never recover.

Her pride swelled at that (although, she really couldn't figure out why; she hadn't done anything liberating) so she decided to point out some things while she was at it. "And - and your books suck!"

"_What_?" he yelped. "But you've never given them a chance!" he poorly defended.

"I have! And I couldn't get through three pages without cleansing my body from its filth!"

Kakashi then fake-gasped before resisting the urge to throttle the girl. "Take that back!"

She smirked. "No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"_No_!"

"_Yes_!"

"No!"

"Sakura, as your superior officer, I command you to-"

"Excuse me?" she asked, "Are you serious? You can't just-"

"That's it!"

"Kakashi-sensei, what are yo - WAH! MPPH! MPPH!"

Naruto and Sasuke both watched in horror as their beloved female teammate was being _smothered to death_by their former sensei. Or, at least that's what they thought he was doing. Kakashi had his back facing them so they couldn't quite telling what was going on, but they both had an inkling that it wasn't good.

Meanwhile, when Kakashi was pleasantly enjoying her never ending doom, Sakura was busy trying to break free. Since both her hands were currently snatched up by his own, her body was currently pinned to the tree behind her and her lips were currently covered with some sort of soft material, Sakura saw no choice but to slide away from the tree and turn so Naruto and Sasuke could see what -

"_KAKASHI-SENSEI_!" Naruto roared, "WHY ARE YOU KISSING SAKURA-CHAN?"

Sakura's eyes shot open (because up until now, Sakura didn't think it would be too comfortable to have her eyes scratched out by Kakashi) and she desperately tried to pull away. "_MPPH! MMMH_!" she yelled.

Sasuke and Naruto exchanged glance before glaring at their sensei, who was now sporting a happy eye-crease, and intervening. "Kakashi." Sasuke growled, "If you want her to stop making noises you're going to have to press harder." This caused Kakashi's eye-crease to become even happier.

Sakura's eyes flashed. Oh, when she was free from the kiss-o-death, he was _so_ getting it. _TRAITOR!_"MMH MPPH MMPH MMM!" roughly translates into: _"Go back to the snake-man you traitor!"_

"Bite me." he snarled.

Sakura opened her mouth to retort but the only thing going in or out of her mouth was Kakashi's uncovered tongue. Aha! His mask was off! Sakura pushed him away effortlessly (Why didn't she just do that before?) to get a good look at him. It only took about three seconds for Sakura to register the hotness before jumping him again and kissing him senseless.

Naruto was not expecting that and promptly fainted from shock.

"How long do you think they'll do that?"

Sasuke snorted, "Hn. How long do you think it will last?"

"Three months."

"Three days."

"Three _hours_."

"Three more minutes."

Needless to say, both Sasuke and Naruto were shocked to hear that Sakura was already three weeks pregnant two days before the incident happened. Naruto still hasn't recovered. And Sasuke? Well, let's just say, following Itachi's footsteps (again) was getting more and more tempting by the minute.

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Title: Fidgeting  
Pairing: ItaSaku  
Prompt: My little sister and her restless legs - ohmygoshstopmoving! and nameless-boy's ability to make me all hot and bothered.  
Summary: In which Sakura is epically awesome in every way and the boys are less than successful.  
Note: AU. Non-massacre. And the end totally happened. It was hot.  
Words: 381

Sakura's left eye twitched for the fourth time that night. That was also the fourth time Itachi had twitched his leg toward hers - COMPLETELY ON PURPOSE - because he was '_trying to get comfortable'_. And he actually had the nerve to look annoyed. With her. As if it was _her _fault that he couldn't keep his freaking legs still.

When Sakura had suggested that Itachi should do a few push-ups in order to tire himself; he replied with a scoff and a very annoyed: "Hm, perhaps you could sleep outside, _Sakura-san_." he hissed beside her.

To which she replied with an equally irritated: "Fine. Maybe I _will_." she huffed, then roughly grabbed her pillow and sleeping bag and went outside. Itachi sighed in exasperation and waited three seconds.

Sakura smirked in satisfaction as she heard the familiar rustle of sheets and the squeaking of the cot (he got the only one because he was the captain of the team) before the pinkette made the imaginary count down in her head.

Three...

Two...

One...

"Sakura-san, please come back inside."

The medic-nin smiled sarcastically at her captain before crossing her legs and staring up at him with the most stubborn look on her face. "Hm." she thought pensively, "No."

Unfortunately for her, 'no' wasn't a part of Itachi's small vocabulary. "No? I don't understand."

"No? What don't you understand, _Uchiha_? I will not-" Sadly, Sakura could not finish her sentence due to a recent change in location and a _very nice _shoulder stabbing her stomach. The pinkette was currently looking at the ground over Itachi's wonderfully beautiful shoulder.

"Sakura-san, if you do not shut up, I will be forced to stalk you all night."

"Well, you already threw me over your shoulder. Why don't you just take off my clothes and bite me?" Sakura's eyes widened. Oh, she did not just say that, did she? And her to amazingly hot captain, too? Was she looking for a punishment?

"I'd rather not bite you." he replied and Sakura smiled in relief; which was short lived when Itachi continued. "Hard."

Sakura swallowed. Dear Kami, that was hot.

"I could think of a few places." she mumbled to herself.

"Oh?" he asked, "Where, exactly?"

And Sakura had half a mind to say: _"In my pants."_

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Title: JUST SHUT UP AND LET ME GO ALREADY, BITCH.  
Note: I'm SORRY. I suck.  
Summary: In which Sakura has to go away to Suna for six months and Ino just can't bear the thought of it without making fun of her.  
Disclaimer: Jigglypuff.  
Words: 545  
Pairing: KakaSaku

"-and just remember to check under the bed for random animals, okay?"

"Uh, yeah, sure Ino."

"-and always remember to stay away from creepy sand-puppet guys with psychopathic little brothers-"

"Ino, we both know that Kazekage-sama has changed."

The blonde rolled her eyes, "Ugh. Can't you just call him Gaara? He's not here, you know; it's not like he's gonna pop out of nowhere and strike you down with some _mad sand powers_."

Sakura raised an eyebrow. "Mad sand powers?"

"Yes, now can we move onto more important matters?"

The pinkette glanced back at the blonde. Eh, who's it gonna hurt? "Sure, about what?"

Ino grinned, "Sasuke."

"_Leaving_."

"You want to talk about Sasuke leaving, okay! Where do I begin…"

"Ino," she snapped, "I don't _want _to talk about him."

Blue eyes danced with amusement, "Okay, fine. We'll talk about Kakashi and your recent denial about having feelings for him and Sasuke at the same time!"

"Ino," she seethed, "Shut. Up. _People will __**hear you**_."

The female smiled at her friend and shrugged. "Isn't that the point?"

"Ino, what are you-"

"Ah, Sakura, my favorite student."

Sakura's eyes narrowed as she and Ino shared the same thought. She was not his favorite student and he was an ass for saying it. Both Sakura and Ino exchanged glances. "Ass." they said in unison.

"Well, I should get going-"

"Kakashi, why are you here?" his 'favorite' student interjected.

"Can't a man-"

"No." she snapped.

Kakashi frowned underneath his mask. "You didn't even let me finish."

"Your mom didn't let me finish."

Ino snorted, "OH BURN!" she screeched.

"Well maybe she was distracted by your large forehead."

Sakura gasped obnoxiously. "You did not just go there."

"Oh," he began, smiling, "_I went there_."

"EAT TABLE, OLD MAN!" she snarled violently as a table she just threw came Kakashi's way.

"Sakura!" he began to chastise. "I don't have enough funds to pay for that."

"Your mom doesn't have funds to pay for this!" she back-sassed, pointing to her ass.

And suddenly, Kakashi was glad he was wearing a mask. "Well, I do."

"You just said you – oh. _Oh_. OH – EW! _EW_! I don't my first time to be with an old-"

"First time?" Ino snorted, "Yeah right, we all know that you and Sasuke have had-"

"Sakura and Sasuke have what?"

"Uh…" she trailed, "BREAK TIME!"

"YOU'RE ON YOUR BREAK!"

"WORK-TIME THEN!"

"BUT!"

"Oh hey, Shika!"

Fight the migraine. Fight the migraine. Fight the migraine. Fight the migraine. "Oh hey, Ino." he sighed.

"Well then," Kakashi began, "We're all alone… again… by ourselves… teacher and student… with nothing but our bodies to-"

"Okay I get it!"

"So…" he eye-creased.

Sakura sighed, looked at her cold lunch and groaned. "_Fine_." she agreed, "But please don't have Pakkun there again." Then she walked away toward Kakashi's apartment.

"He's just a dog Sakura."

"Which is you, which talks and makes comments about-"

"EW!" Naruto shouted from nowhere. "MY VIRGIN EARS!"

"Dobe." Sasuke sighed; it wasn't that surprising.

"MY SAKURA-CHAN AND KAKASHI-SENSEI! HOW COULD YOU!"

"Well, actually-"

"I do _**not**_ want to know that."

Their sensei sighed and watched the duo walk away. "So…" he began casually, "We're alone… again… with nothing but our-"

"Do you want sex or not?"

Eye-crease.

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Title: Sakura and Sasuke's guide to Courting Hinata  
Prompt: Chapter 437, he SO loves her.  
Summary: Okay, first step to getting a girl, _never_listen to Sasuke.  
Pairing: NaruHina, yes, I am weak.  
Disclaimer: Eh, yeah.  
Warning: a little lengthy for a drabble.  
Words: 1,876

"Sakura-chan?"

Sakura looked up at her friend. "Naruto?" From what she could tell, he looked nervous and very insecure. He normally got that way when he was about to ask Sakura out on a date. "What's up?" Please don't ask me out, please don't ask me out, please don't ask -

"Don't be mad at me."

"Why?" she asked and then began jumping to conclusions. "What did you do, Naruto? If you broke something or hurt Kakashi-sensei, again, I will kill you! How times have I told you to not let him fight? He's still recovering and he's getting older, he just can't-"

"I like Hinata-chan."

"-like that anymore - _what_?"

The Kyuubi container sighed to himself; he didn't think telling Sakura would be this hard. "I said, I like Hinata-"

"No, no, no. Naruto, I heard what you said; I just can't believe it." she stated incredulously.

"Why not?"

"Because! You're Naruto! You don't just give up like that-"

"Sakura-chan, I've waited for years and you've never returned my feelings but Hinata-chan, she has always loved me and I didn't want to get into a relationship with someone if I was still in love with you because I know that wouldn't - MPPH!" Naruto was baffled. First, he told the former love of his life that he liked someone else and now she was giving him kisses all over his face. Women.

"Oh, Naruto! I'm so happy for you!" she squealed, bouncing in his arm.

The would-be Hokage rubbed the back of his head, "So you're not mad?"

"Mad?" she laughed, "Why on earth would I be mad?"

"I don't know; the teme thinks you're in love with me or something."

Sakura choked on air. "Wh-what? Ew! You're like, my brother, Naruto; that's just gross."

"Wait, so you're not in love with me?" he asked.

"Yes..."

"YES!" Naruto then scooped up his friend and spun her around. "That's great!"

"It is?"

"Yeah! Now the teme can stop moping around the compound about how you love me and finally make a move-"

"Move? What move?"

Blue eyes widened, "I have no idea what you're talking about, Sakura-chan."

"No!" she whacked him on the arm. "You said Sasuke was going to make a move! What kind of move? Does it involve marriage? Should I prepare myself? Go get changed?"

"Uh, let's talk about Hinata-chan! And how much I liked her?"

Sakura squealed again and launched herself at Naruto. "You big oaf! Okay, so, what are you going to do?"

"Well, I don't know."

"Come on," she tugged on his arm, "We need to do this in a much private place."

.

"Teme."

"Dobe."

"Sasuke-kun."

"Sakura."

She glared at him. Coward. "Sasuke-kun."

He glared back. "Sakura."

"And how does saying each other's names help me, at all?"

"Oh, sorry, Naruto. Now, onto more pressing matters," she tried to hold back a grin, "Wooing Hinata-chan!" the pinkette crooned, clasping her hands together. "I'm so _proud _of you Naruto."

Sasuke shot Naruto a look when Sakura wasn't looking. Naruto shot him a look and Sasuke felt like an idiot. "Ne, Sasuke-teme, what do you have in mind?"

"Hn. I don't know. Ignore her. That seems to work for me."

"Great idea, Sasuke! Except, oh wait - that's what he has been doing for the past _eight years or so_." then she snorted, "Besides, if ignoring girls has gotten you so far, then why aren't you married yet? Hm? _Hm_?"

"Tch." Translation: _Damnit!_

"Exactly." she stated smugly. "Now," she began, still holding onto her smug tone. "The first thing to remember is to never listen to Sasuke, ever. The second thing to remember is-"

"Don't take her to the ramen stand."

Sakura nodded. "_Especially _the ramen stand. Take her somewhere nice, like a small cafe-"

"Tch."

"Oh, I'm sorry, Sasuke, is there something you would like to contribute?"

"Well-"

"BECAUSE I WOULD NOT." Her fists clenched; she was seriously two seconds away from punching the living daylights out of him. "As if you would know what a girl likes anyways."

"You don't like small cafes."

Sakura groaned in frustration. "Yes," she huffed, "We know that but I know Hinata, and Hinata likes small cafes."

"Um, Sakura-chan? What about money? I mean, I'm not exactly the teme so I can't really-"

"Sasuke-kun will give you money." she said flippantly, "_Right_, Sasuke-kun?"

Sasuke really tried, really, he did but when she gave him those eyes and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear with those cute little hands and - ahem. She was just so cute. Ugh.

"Fine." he said begrudgingly, already handing over his wallet.

"Great!" she beamed, taking out a few notes for Naruto and quite a few for herself before giving it back to Sasuke. He looked at her hand pointedly. "Oh, come on, you broke my heart-" Sasuke deadpanned; she always had to bring that up, didn't she? "-the least you can do is give me a few bucks for that adorable dress I wanted to wear on my date with-"

Sasuke's eyes bled red as soon as he heard the word 'date' and ripped the money out of her hands. "No. Absolutely not."

"Wh- what? Why not?" she pouted.

"Because," he said smugly.

"Sas-"

"Uh, teme, Sakura-chan. Can we please get back to me?"

Sakura blushed for some reason and sighed. "Sure Naruto. Now, the second thing you have to remember is to take it slow. Hinata not only has an incredibly shy personality, but she also freaks out and faints when she tries to talk to you. Also, you can't wear orange on your date."

"WHAT? NO! NO! That is where I draw the line! Orange is my thing, Sakura-chan! You can't just take that away from me!"

"Hn. He's right."

"Okay, fine, we'll compromise. You can wear orange-"

"YES!"

"-on your third date."

"NO!"

Sakura frowned and put her hands on her hips. "You're already going to put the poor girl into a coma! We can't blind her too!"

"Blind her?" Sasuke asked, bewildered. "I thought she was already blind?"

This statement earned two very incredulous looks from his teammates. "Wow, just, wow. You _are_ an idiot."

"Hn."

"So, now what?"

"Now," Sakura grinned, "You ask her out."

"But - but, I'm scared! And what if Neji tries to kill me?"

"I've got that covered."

.

"Are you sure?"

Sakura nodded eagerly. Finally, Naruto was actually going to pursue someone other than herself! "Yes, now go." she nudged.

"But-"

Then she slapped her hands on his shoulders, gave him a hard stare and smiled. Before he knew it, Sakura had pulled Naruto into a friendly hug. "You can do it." she smiled, "After all, you defeated Pein, right? This should be nothing."

Naruto nodded and decided not to remind Sakura that the only reason why he could defeat Pein was because of the impact of Hinata's confession. "Okay, I'm going."

"Great!" she grinned.

Then he began to walk away from the bushes, Sakura and Sasuke's spying place, and toward Hinata. About halfway there, Naruto's throat became increasingly dry and he had the sudden urge to urinate in the nearest flower garden. He came back.

"Naruto!" Sakura hissed, "You're giving away our position."

Sasuke sighed, "This isn't a mission, Sakura."

"No one asked you, Uchiha."

Ouch, last name.

"I can't do this." he whispered.

"Yes you can."

"No, I can't."

"Yes, you can."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Naruto!" she hissed. "Go!"

"No," he squeaked.

Sakura narrowed her eyes. "Naruto..."

"No."

Alas, this request was moot with Sakura because she was already behind him, pushing him toward Hinata. Naruto dug his feet into the ground in an attempt to stop her but quickly remembered that Sakura was super strong and could throw him toward Hinata if she wanted to. "Naruto. Stop being difficult."

Naruto escaped and ran to the bushes. "Teme, help me!"

"Naruto, get _over there_."

"Please don't make me do this; I don't feel good."

"You're nervous you'll get over it." Then Sakura grabbed him by the back of his collar and waistband and tossed him across the street.

"No, Sakura! Don't- OOF!"

"This isn't going to work."

"Shut up, it so is."

"Hn."

"Oh, who brought you here?"

"You did."

"Oh! Look!" Sakura pointed and sure enough, her plan was working.

"Nar-Naruto-k-kun?" A bewildered Hinata asked.

Naruto immediately leapt up from his place on the ground. "HINATA-CHAN!"

The poor girl squeaked and immediately turned red but she didn't faint, yet. "Y-yes, Na-ar-ruto?"

"-kun." Naruto supplied with a grin.

"W-what?"

"You always call me Naruto-kun, not Naruto."

"O-oh, wh-why?"

"Because I like it when someone calls me that. I-I like it when _you_ call me that."

She smiled shyly and desperately tried not to blush. "Hm." she hummed.

"Say Hinata, would you like to go out sometime? Sakura says I should take you out to a cafe or something but I don't see what's wrong with ramen, I mean it's just-" and that's when Naruto was promptly shut up by Hinata's burst of confidence.

When she broke away from their kiss, she smiled shyly and blushed. "I-I-I would l-lo-love t-to. E-eight? To-tom-mor-orrow?"

Naruto blushed and rubbed the back of his neck. "Y-yeah! Tomorrow." then he grinned and waved goodbye as she ran home.

As soon as she left, Sakura shrieked in glee in Sasuke's ear and then she launched a hug at him. "Isn't this great, Sasuke?"

"-kun." he finished for her with a smirk tugging at his lips.

Sakura smiled. "Sasuke-kun. Come on, let's go congratulate the idiot."

"Sakura-chan!" Naruto shouted, "Did you see that?"

Sakura nodded happily and jumped into Naruto's open arms. "She kissed you! I can't believe it!"

The Uchiha watched in amusement as his teammates chattered on and on about what happened a few moments before. Naruto pulled Sakura into another hug and made eye-contact with Sasuke. The Kyuubi container winked at him and whispered something in Sakura's ear.

"Really?" he heard her asked.

Naruto nodded. "Yeah."

He whispered something else in her ear that Sasuke couldn't catch. Damn ninja. Naruto let go of Sakura and winked at the Uchiha again. As soon as she was released, she bolted to Sasuke, opened her arms and hugged the crap out of him. He was so surprised by her boldness that he had to take a few steps back in order to keep his balance. He held onto her and let go when she began to push away.

"You're a great friend, Sasuke-kun."

Sasuke bristled at this. Just what did the dobe say to her?

"But you _suck_ at talking to girls."

Sakura gave Sasuke the shock of his life when she tilted her head up and pressed her lips on his. This action only made Sasuke wonder more at what Naruto told her. As he found himself kissing back, he opened an eye that he didn't know he closed to peek at Naruto. He was already walking home, backwards of course, with a wink, a little peace sign with his fingers and sticking his tongue out.

That bastard.

.

_"Ne, Sakura-chan, did you know that Sasuke told me that Hinata liked me all along?"_

_"Really?"_

_"Yeah. And you know what else? He only told me that so I would get _you_ to talk to _**him**_."_

.

Title: Crackers  
Prompt: True story, seriously, well, the first part is. Kinda. It happened to my dad.  
Note: Bitch, shut up. AUish. So here, Team Seven: completely in character and slightly deranged from hunger and lack of ramen. Back when they were cute.  
Disclaimer: Ugh. Kishimoto  
Words: 889

"We-" Kakashi happily eye-creased, "-are going to do survival training in the woods for three weeks."

All three genin stared up at their teacher incredulously. Naruto, being the obnoxious child that he is, was the first one to speak. "OI. WHAT'S SURVIVAL-"

Sakura growled inwardly and bonked the boy on the head. "DO YOU HAVE TO YELL?"

Naruto swallowed thickly. "... _training_?" he squeaked out.

Their teacher rubbed the back of his head and sighed inwardly. "_Ihatemylife_."

"What was that, Kakashi-sensei?" she asked, like she was innocent. But she wasn't, oh, she definitely wasn't. Kakashi knew better, heck, they all knew better; they knew that she was pure evil embodied in a twelve year old girl.

"It was nothing." he sighed. "Anyways, we're going to go into the woods for a few days to determine if you're ready to go on actual long-term missions without food or other resources."

"But I always have my ramen with me!" Naruto piped in.

"Yes. But what if an enemy nin comes in and steals it away from you or if you get separated from the group somehow and you left your food with them? Then what? You won't have your ramen then, now will you?"

Naruto frowned and huffed in clear embarrassment.

Sakura, however, was confused about certain details of this particular training and leaned forward with a curious look upon her face. "And if we don't pass?" she asked, assuming that this was a test of some sort.

"Oh," he eye-creased again, humoring her. "Then you fail."

The genin blanched at that. Sure, they knew they weren't going to be demoted or something, but the thought of not being able to go on long-term missions because of a failed survival training course didn't sit well with them.

"Let's do it!"

"Believe it!"

"Hn."

Kakashi smirked behind his mask. They had no idea what they were in for.

_Two Weeks Later..._

He hated his life. He really hated his life. He also hated the fourth Hokage for putting the Kyuubi into Naruto and then dying. He hated Sakura's parents for actually believing in their child and letting her pursue her dreams of being a ninja. Lastly, he hate Uchiha Itachi for sparing his little brother.

Really. The brat couldn't have been that special. Out of all of them, he was the worst and it wasn't just because he was a stingy little baby, no, that wasn't it. It was the fact that he was refusing to talk to anyone unless they gave them food.

Food they didn't have. Food they all wanted. Food that didn't exist in the godforsaken forest and he had no idea why Kami cursed him with such a whinny pack of kids.

So far, they had gone one week and two days without food. They were all starving and quite frankly, Kakashi was tempted to eat one of them for breakfast tomorrow morning if -

He smelled something. Hell, he even heard the smell. It was salty and crisp and - _someone had food_. His stomach growled impatiently and was silently begging to _'take it! Take the food from those ungrateful little brats! Eat it, eat it __all__!'_

"Alright," he spoke out, "Who has food?"

Sakura and Sasuke immediately perked up at the thought of food and rushed toward Kakashi as quickly as possible. "Food? Someone has food. _Who has food? Who has been holding out on us_?"

Both Sakura and Sasuke sniffed the air and listened intently. The three nin all heard a quiet crunching sound coming from the outside of their camp and behind a rather large rock. Sakura narrowed her eyes. She knew exactly who had food.

"Naruto..." she growled.

Sure enough, Naruto did have food. He had crackers and lots of them.

"He has crackers!" Sakura shouted.

"Hn. Give us some, dobe."

"Yes! Give us some crackers!"

"Naruto, you are not supposed-"

"Now is not the time for discipline, Kakashi-sensei! He has _food_!"

_Why that little_ - "Food?" he asked. "He really has food?" He couldn't believe it! Food!

"No!" Naruto shouted, "You can't have any!"

Sakura growled at him, ignored his request and lunged for the crackers. Sasuke quickly followed suit as Kakashi managed to sneak a few crackers before they got totally crushed by the genin's brawling.

_Ten Years Later..._

"Ugh. Karin, get off of me! You're already fat enough-"

"Fat?" she snarled, "Come here, fish-face!"

"No! They're mine and you-"

"SASUKE! HE HAS CRACKERS!"

Something inside Sasuke stirred and he remembered. He remembered. "Hn." Then he walked over to them, plucked a cracker from the packaged and put it in his mouth.

"H-hey! You can't just take them because you're the leader! Come back here-"

"God, shut up, Sui-"

"Get a life, _Karin_."

He remained stoic until he was completely turned around and then, he felt one side of his lips quirk up.

.

Sakura and Naruto were closing in on the missing-nins. They both exchanged glances before smiling at each other and pulling out their respective weapons.

"Ready?" Sakura breathed.

Naruto nodded and crouched down low to observe the red-headed woman and pale man fight. The Kyuubi container titled his head to the side to see what they were fighting over. Hm. Crackers.

"Yeah, let's get that bastard once and for all."

And Sasuke withdrew his sword, ready to fight.

.

These are just a glance at the stories I have been posting.  
There's a TON (and I mean a TON) out there on live journal.  
Go look for yourself. :D


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